Tales of an Ingenue

June 27th, 2010

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Theater is a funny thing. You never know how shows are going to end up. You never know which shows are going to really stick with you and which ones you’ll happily move on from. Oh Boy! ended up being the best theatrical experience I’ve had in some time. I fell madly, deeply in love with this little unknown show. It was a gem. It was extremely special.

A couple of things to know: Oh Boy! was Jeff-Recommended, It is extending its run, and I can’t extend with it.

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I’m feeling very sentimental this morning. Today is the last day of the original run. Today is my last show and I am going to miss this show immeasurably.  My roommate always teases me that I only like this show as much as I do because of the pretty costumes. And to be perfectly honest, that’s part of it. But it’s not just the costumes, it’s the whole package. I never get to do this. I never got to play the girly, pretty, effervescent roles that I would fantasize about while putting on my fatsuit, or unibrow, crazy wig, or whatever else my crazy character role required.

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This was a breath of pretty, frothy, lovely, fresh air and I loved every minute of it. I just loved playing Lou Ellen. She was such a sweeetheart and so pure and loyal. Lou Ellen was cupcakes and butterflies and cotton candy and rainbows. It was nice to live that for a while. I’m sure starting tomorrow it’ll be back to playing whores and witches again, which I LOVE…don’t get me wrong, but this was a nice change.

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Who knew that a character that sings “I want to be a good little wife in the good old-fashioned way. I’ll honor and obey. From my home I’ll never stray,” would end up being one of the most liberating roles I’ve ever played. Theater is a funny FUNNY thing and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

***All photos by Johnny Knight***

Staying Positive

May 20th, 2010

So I get a lot of messages asking me questions or making comments on my blog. One of the most common observations is that I seem to always have a positive outlook. I would like to state for the record that this is not true. I have negative thoughts and feelings just like everyone else ALL THE TIME. I do, however, try to stay positive on my blog. It doesn’t help anyone including myself to dwell on bad experiences or bitch about auditions or things not being fair. Sometimes I’ll dip my toe in the bitter pool, but I try to take it out as soon as I can.

This business can be rewarding and inspiring and uplifting and it can also SUCK. It can SUCK hardcore. It can make you feel worthless and untalented and old and unattractive. The thing is, I like this to be a suck-free zone (okay that just sounds gross). Anyway, you get my point. I like this to be a place that I can come to to lift me up and that’s why I keep the Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms kind of attitude, or try to.

But for those who would like to see the misery. Misery does love company doesn’t it? Here is something I wrote almost exactly two years ago. I was about to turn 30 and wasn’t handling it all that well. DAMN IT! I gave my age away again. Anyway, sometimes it’s good to revisit dark times, it makes us so thankful for lighter and happier times. I am pretty happy right now, but I know that what goes up always comes down. What goes down doesn’t necessarily go up, so we have to learn to bounce. I’m showing you this window into my personal life to prove a point. We all have times like these, and we all can crawl out of them. If you’re down right now…bounce my lovelies….just BOUNCE!

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09/2008

Milestones. That’s what they call it. What is it about milestones that make you stop and evaluate your life, rather harshly, at times. Things that were fine before are suddenly being examined more closely. It’s like a reality check that you’ve suppressed or tried to disguise as something else.

You look around and there are certain parts of your life that you realize are not okay. Certain things become almost unbearable. A job, the place you live, someone in your life, etc. It’s almost crippling. I’ve been trying to break out of this awful self examination for three weeks. It’s not working. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’ve been extremely sick and that I’m literally starving right now. A starving artist . How freaking poetic. I have one salad and one bagel in my stomach for the last three days. The job that was feeding me is no more. My car is gone. I’m almost out of money.

The funny thing is I’m doing fabulously theater-wise. Even the second callback I had this morning at 10 am went amazingly well. The behind the scenes view was me in the bathroom ten minutes before layering gobs of concealer under my eyes, shimmer powder on my face, and every trick I know so they wouldn’t know that I was malnournished, sick, and sad. I had them fooled. I’m a very good actress. Hysterical.

There are people that are broke and lonely but have people taking care of them, always bailing them out of binds, buying them things, escaping from their life. Then there is ACTUALLY being broke and lonely. It’s two very different things.

I’ve been through and accomplished so much in my life…shouldn’t I be further along by now? I don’t know what to do to get out of debt. I don’t. Even working my tail off I barely make enough to pay rent. I would move to a cheaper place but I have close to a year left on this lease. I’m just plain miserable right now. I don’t want to be. I don’t get off on it or anything. I know that this is the life that I chose. There is pride and honor in that. I’m a working actress. There is pride and honor in that too. I just need more than that. I do. Who knew? My career has always been the most important thing to me and it’s just assumed that if you are doing well in your career that you must be happy. I couldn’t be more unhappy right now. Well that isn’t true. There haven’t been any casualties or anything (knock on wood).

The point is that I feel trapped in this way of life that I’ve imprisoned myself in and I don’t know how to escape from it. It’s not okay to live in squalor, it’s not okay to not be able to pay your own bills, it’s not okay to be taken advantage of, it’s not okay to be completely dependable and not have anyone to depend on. These things are not okay. I’m just so sad right now. I wish I could snap out of it. I really do.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand back to Happy! Woohoo! I hope I haven’t scared you away completely. Bounce my lovelies!!!!

Love and Insanity,

Harmony

The Scoop on Harmony: musicals, readings, benefits, and Jess Godwin’s cd release…Oh My!

May 11th, 2010

When it rains it pours. And I mean….POURS. I figured I better knock one of these scoops out before I’m too busy to have the time.

This past weekend I sang, along with many other Columbia College Chicago alums such as Tom McGunn and Leah Morrow, at the Retirement Party for Estelle Spector. After almost 30 years at Columbia College she is retiring. It was her retirement party, her birthday, AND Mother’s Day!

I sang Joanne’s big solo “The Ladies who Lunch” from Company, a show that Estelle directed me in in 2005. In addition to Company, Estelle directed me in Guys and Dolls, I had class with her, and for a time I worked as her assistant. In classic Estelle fashion when I was finished with the song she said, “It’s gotten much better,” and we both laughed. Indeed, Estelle, it has gotten much better. ;) It was good to see you and talk to you and I wish you the best!

If you know Estelle Spector and she touched your life in a positive way send her a message HERE.

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1) Fifth of July reading

I am so thrilled to be working on this amazing play. I’m playing Gwen, the nymphomanic wanna-be Country singer. Fifth of July is a 1979 play by American playwright Lanford Wilson. Set in rural Missouri in 1977, it revolves around the Talley family and their friends, and focuses on the disillusionment with America in the wake of the Vietnam War.

This is the second installment of Five Decades of Great Gay Plays being put on by my dear friend David Zak’s new venture: Pride Films and Plays.

Patrick Walsh directs a cast featuring John Zinn Jonas Grey, Brian Rooney, Harmony France, Kieran Welsh-Phillips, Deanna Norman, Michele Gorman and Jeremy Cohn.

The Host for the evening is Misha Davenport of the Chicago Sun-Times.

For tickets call 773 250 3112 or 1800 838 3006 or on line at Brown Paper Tickets.

The cast is really fantastic and it is a terrific play. Come check it out!

WHEN: May 16, 7pm

WHERE: Theatre Building Chicago, 1225 West Belmont, Chicago

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2) Join me for a one-night only benefit performance of:

SHOW US YOUR LOVE

Sunday, May 23

7:30 pm

Pre-show Lobby Reception at 6:30 pm

Skokie Theatre

7924 Lincoln Ave, Skokie, IL

Proceeds will help fund Bailiwick Chicago’s summer production, Elton John and Tim Rice’s AIDA.

I will be singing “Kind of Woman” from Pippin and “Someone to Dance with Me” from Summer of ‘42.
Additionally there are selections from Floyd Collins, Barnum, Hair, Sunday in the Park with George, Aida, amongst others.

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3) Oh Boy!

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FINALLY!!!! FIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAALLLLLYYYYYY!!!! We go into tech this weekend and I think the show is in a pretty good place. We still have a ways to go, but we’re at that point in the process where things are really starting to happen. I’m seeing the show rear its pretty little head. I have absolutely loved working on this project. My cast is delightful and Terry McCabe (Director), Kingsley Day (Music Director and he plays my father!), and Amy Uhl (Choreographer) have made it such a smooth process.
I adore my character, Lou Ellen. She’s such a sweetheart and she’s so hopeful and a little quirky. She’s the kind of part I never get to play and I’m LOVING it. I’m a dainty girl and my costumes by Tom Keiffer are simply beautiful. My mother will be so happy that I get to wear the pretty costumes! Anyway….here are the deets:
WHEN: Previews start May 21st, Opening May 25th and runs through June 27th

WHERE: City Lit Theater Company, 1020 W Bryn Mawr Avenue , Chicago,
(773) 293-3682
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4) Jess Godwin’s CD Release Party!!!

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I have to include this in my scoop. Yes, I’m singing back up, but don’t come for me, come for this incredibly talented woman! Jess Godwin was one of my first friends in Chicago, literally. I met her on our very first day of college and we’ve been friends ever since. Her music is so phenomenal!!! Jess will be performing along with her band: Matt FitzSimons, Bryce Dudka, and Alain Milotti.

And check out her list of guest artists, featured musicians, and back-up singers!:
Le Percolateur
Katie Gavin
Alan Schmuckler
One Voice
The Cast of Bailiwick Chicago’s “Aida”
Route 66 Theatre Company
Harmony France
Angela Ingersoll
Lili-Anne Brown
Jenn Rhoads
Karen Marie Richardson
Kat Fitzgerald
Elizabeth Baltes
Katie Romano
Natalie Pelletier
Grace Anaclerio
Laura Katz
Caroline Thinnes

WHEN: June 13, 2010 at 8:30pm

WHERE: MORSELAND, 1218 West Morse Ave., Chicago
http://www.jessgodwin.com/
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5) A Little Night Music

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I am so ridiculously excited to be part of Peninsula Players 75th anniversary season in this beautiful show.

“A Little Night Music” is Broadway’s sophisticated, stylish and disarmingly funny comedy about second chances.  In turn-of-the century Sweden, six people, whose love-lives have gone off track, are given a taste of love’s endless possibilities. Old flames are rekindled and others ignite while Sondheim’s waltz-like score plays on.  This witty and elegant musical is a celebration of romance, a Valentine for Door County audiences, and features one of Sondheim’s most popular hits, “Send in the Clowns.”

This cherished musical is the winner of six Tony Awards including Best Musical and Best Original Score.

I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about this theater company and I am honored to be part of this production.

WHEN: July 28 –August 15

WHERE: Peninsula Players, 4351 Peninsula Players Road, Fish Creek, WI

920-868-3287

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND Finally…if any of you have made it this far down…Congratulations to all my friends that just received Non-Equity Jeff nominations!

Congrats to two of my favorite Non-Equity theater companies Bohemian Theatre Ensemble and  Theo Ubique for garnering 11 nominations each and Congrats to my lovely, lovely friends:

Fred Anzevino, Brenda Didier, Stephen Genovese, Courtney Crouse, Jeremy Trager, Tom Mcgunn, Maggie Portman, Sarah Hayes, Danielle Brothers, Eric Lindahl, John Leen, Kate Garassino, Danni Smith. Trista Smith, Dana Tretta, Nick Sula, Brigitte Ditmars, Edward Kuffert, and Andrew Park.

Here’s the full list of nominees: HERE

Enjoy our gloomy Spring! I LOVE IT!

Until next time,

Harmony

Time Off: Part 2

April 11th, 2010

So I wrote a whole blog HERE about how time off can be depressing for an actor. There’s the fear of never working again and what not. blah blah blah. What I didn’t write about in that blog is about how glorious it can be. I’ve had a social life! I’ve had nights in. I’ve been able to watch tv when the programs are actually on! I’ve been able to cook and have friends over on weeknights. I reconnected with people I haven’t seen in years because I had the time to do it! I did tons of thinking. I was able to spend more time on my auditions and I booked my summer because of it. I got to spend time with my roommate. A lot of time LOL. When we’re both working on shows, we don’t see much of each other. I didn’t have to plan my week to the nth degree. I was able to be a little spontaneous. I got to be lazy. I got to be productive. I got to be creative. I got to relax. I was able to help out with Bailiwick Chicago behind the scenes because I actually had the TIME.

I think, as many of us do, that I replace my personal life with my professional life sometimes. Or that they become the same thing. When you’re doing well in your career you’re able to hide behind it and fill gaps in your life with your successes. When suddenly you don’t have a gig, or you’re waiting for your next one, you have to deal with your real life. You have to deal with the areas of your life that seem lacking. It can be hard, but it’s also a time of growth and self awareness. I didn’t have “the stage” to distract me with its glamour and its heartache. It’s so important for us as artists to have lives separate from our stage personas. Otherwise what are we bringing to our art?

I’ve said before that an actor’s ability is limited to the extent of their experience and their imagination. The more experience you have the more you have to draw from. We should be as daring and fearless in life as we are on stage. That is my goal. That is what I strive for. I want to live this life so absolutely that it can’t help but seep into my work in the theater. I don’t want to pass up any opportunities. No more being afraid. No more missed connections. They make me sad. Take a chance on people! Don’t be afraid to love. Be brave my friends! Be brave and be fabulous!

I’ve overindulged a bit this last three months, but it felt wonderful. I felt really alive and I feel like I have something new to bring to the table now. I start rehearsals for Oh Boy! tomorrow and then I’m booked everyday through the summer with a list of things that keeps growing. I’m extremely excited to have so much coming up, but I’m also a little sad that my break is over. It has truly been life-changing. When I am insanely busy again, I need to remember not to neglect the Harmony that isn’t on stage all the time. She deserves some attention too. I will neglect her no longer!!!

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After reading this through I’ve realized that I sound like a combination of  a hippie and a psycho. I do apologize. Some things just must be said, even if they’re a little scatter-brained.

Thank you for sticking with me through my insanity. HAPPY SPRING!!!!!

Harmony

The Scoop on Harmony

April 5th, 2010

So much has happened since my last scoop. I’ve had sort of a fantastic theater streak. I’ve also had some crazy personal problems. Not sure how to write about it all. I guess I’ll just do some word vomit and just apologize ahead of time for it. I apologize. There, I apologized. So, read on at your own risk I suppose. I did warn you. No complaining later.

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First an update on Steppenwolf, since so many people have been so supportive and want to know the outcome. I did not get accepted to the School at Steppenwolf. I did, however, get offered an “alternate” position. Basically, if someone can’t go I am on a short waiting list of who they will call. It’s not exactly what I hoped for, but it’s a feat none-the-less. I am extremely proud of myself. I did something that was so extremely intimidating for me and I came this close to getting it. I hadn’t done a non-musical audition for close to 5 years, so I’m going to pat myself on the back a bit. I’m going to take a moment to be proud of myself, even if it’s just for almost getting in.

I have had a lot of questions of how the whole process works from people that might be interested in attending in the future. So here goes. I had to fill out an application, write two essays, give a $50 application fee, and get a letter of recommendation. I sent three because I’m a freak. After sending in your audition packet you get notified by email whether you’ve been granted an audition or not. This year they granted 260 auditions. For the audition I had to do a monologue, have a second monologue ready just in case, and pick a scene to do. They gave me an option of 5 scenes. I picked the Frankie and Johnny scene and did a monologue from Keely and Du.

I then waited about 2 1/2 weeks and got my notification by email. This year of the 260 people that auditioned for the school, they accepted 28 people and then have a small “alternate” list. Another thing to keep in mind is that Steppenwolf fills their school in the same way they would cast a company of actors. They want different types and personalities. They said it is all about the mix of people. So, I would only be offered a spot in the school if the person who couldn’t go fit my type, or I filled that slot well. I’m guessing one of the older actors would have to drop, since I have heard that they only accept like 2 people over 30. Did I just give away my age? SHIT.

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That brings me to my other bit of news. I’m just thrilled to announce that I was just cast in the 75th anniversary season production of A Little Night Music at Peninsula Players. I’m one of the Liebeslieder Singers. I couldn’t be more excited. It’s in beautiful Door County, Wisconsin. Greg Vinkler is directing. There will be much more information on this show to follow!

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And FINALLY Oh Boy! starts rehearsals next week. I feel like I’ve been talking about this show FOREVER. I’m so glad it’s finally going to be underway. I was cast at the beginning of the fall, so I’m really happy to get started. Unfortunately Sheldon Patinkin is no longer directing. He needs a little more time to recover from his surgery. Fortunately, however, Terry McCabe is our new director and Sheldon will be popping his head in from time to time to give his advice. I’m very excited about this project. I’ve read the script a couple of times now and my character, Lou Ellen, is hilarious and not in an obvious way. I think everything she says is funny, so hopefully I can do her justice.

So that’s all the theater news…and it’s so exciting. I have two projects that I’m really passionate about coming up and I got a serious confidence boost through Steppenwolf. I probably wouldn’t have even auditioned for Peninsula Players if it hadn’t been for my experience with Steppenwolf. It has really given me a renewed confidence in myself. I feel like I’m not an idiot. I’m not wasting my life. I can actually do this and it’s time to raise the bar for myself and go after things that maybe I was too insecure to go after before.

The thing that I’ve learned in this last couple of weeks though is that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. I have been so stressed out about other personal aspects of my life that it was hard to enjoy the theater accomplishments I was achieving. I haven’t been eating well, been drinking way too much, and I’ve been a big ole worry wart. We dream about breaks like I’ve gotten in the last week or so, but I think in our dreams we’re also happily coupled, our families are in great shape, our friends are fantastic AND we get great theater news. It doesn’t work like that. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life. You like that? I’m thinking about writing a song. No copyright infringements!!!

Seriously though, it’s all good. The good and the bad. Take the bad with relish. It makes us human. It makes the good so much sweeter. And another thing…don’t be afraid of life. Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Put your neck out, seriously what’s the worst thing that can happen? You can fail. That’s it. If you don’t take big risks, you won’t get big rewards. I am no longer talking about theater, but it can apply to theater too of course. Now my brain is wandering. I was doing so well at staying concise. I did warn you though. hmmmm what do I want for dinner? What is the meaning of life? If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it really fall? So many questions. Goodbye. See you in hell.

Harmony

Reviews, Reviewers, and the like…

March 19th, 2010

Reviewers/critics/what have you, can make or break your show. We are told repeatedly not to care what the reviews say, but the fact of the matter is it puts butts in the seats if the show is reviewed well. For anyone who has worn a producing hat from time to time, you understand how important it is. Smaller theater companies, particularly Non-Equity ones, rely on good reviews because of their lack of an advertising budget. Because of this, when we know reviewers are coming everyone goes a little batty. Houses are papered (tickets are given away), audiences are filled with friendly faces that will enjoy the show in an obvious way. Each director/producer has a different way of handling whether the actors know about the reviewers or not. In some companies they drill it into your head so that you know WHAT’S AT STAKE! In other companies it’s kept as top secret information lest the actors find out and it influences the show.

I’ve seen actors and other theater professionals take to their bed for a week after a bad review or, heaven forbid, a bout of bad reviews. I’ve seen people’s performances fall apart due to the onset of insecurity that comes from a bad notice. I’ve seen actors CHANGE their performance to match what a reviewer says. It’s all very silly, but in a business that can be thankless, good reviews and accolades are a nice boost to keep us going. Bad reviews have an adverse effect.

I used to get extremely wrapped up in all of this. Good reviews made me feel like I was on top of the world and bad reviews made me feel like a huge pile of crap. This continued until I did Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Tell me on a Sunday. It’s a one-woman musical and I got more reviews than I ever had before because I was the only actor on stage. There was no getting around it. We probably got about 13 reviews for the show from opening through the extension. My day would be good, or bad, depending on what had been written about me that day.

On one night I received 4 reviews with 4 completely different perspectives. One thought I pretty much sucked all around. One thought I was fabulous and the hottest ticket in town. One said that I was a weak actor, but had a great voice and one said that I was a weak singer, but a great actor.

After receiving all of these highly conflicting reviews I did something I hadn’t thought to do yet. I laughed it off. I realized how ridiculous I was being to believe everything that was being written about me whether good or bad. Clearly they couldn’t ALL be right! Their opinions didn’t match up at all, and that’s what they are…OPINIONS. It is one individual giving an opinion. That’s it. Not just that, but we don’t know what goes into that opinion. Anything from the reviewers health, mood that day, dinner before the show, comfort of their seat, what the weather is, whether they have pre-conceived notions, whether they like the playwright/composer/ etc. etc. etc. into infinity effects both good and bad reviews.

Also, they are seeing ONE performance. They don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. They don’t know when you’re sick, lost a loved one, are having an off night, broke up with your boyfriend, etc. etc. etc. into infinity. They don’t know for instance that an actress’ pants went missing right before the show and she had to wear something that was supposed to be a long shirt as a dress and bend down and pick things up and try not to flash the audience her hoo-hah in the process. The reviewer didn’t know all of that before writing that the actress seemed “self conscious about her body.” I don’t know WHO this actress is by the way. It’s not me!!!! Pretend I didn’t tell this story. I made it all up. Moving on…

I’m not trying to diminish the importance of reviewers in this business at all. There are certain reviewers in this city that are brilliant and who I really trust. I’ve also been in many a show that the reviewers were our best friends. They saved our show. They made people come see it. It can be a wonderful thing! My POINT is (thank goodness, right?) let the producers worry about the reviews. As actors our only responsibility is to be true to the text, take care of our bodies, and to follow our direction. That’s it! The other stuff is out of our control. If this means that you have to not read the reviews to keep from getting upset than DON’T! I know many actors that don’t. If you do choose to read them just remember it’s just normal people with opinions. Don’t let it define you!

That is my wisdom for the day…

Harmony

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.”  -Anton Ego (Ratatouille!)

The Cat’s out of the bag…

March 10th, 2010

So as I kept hinting…I had kind of a big audition yesterday. About a month ago I decided that I wanted to take my career in a different direction. Not to eliminate the successes and connections I’ve already made (translation: not to give up Musical Theatre), but rather to broaden my horizons. I decided that I wanted to start focusing on more plays and on-camera opportunities, along with musical theatre.

As far as musical theatre goes, I’m kind of stuck between types right now. This last year or so I’ve played everything from a 50 year old wicked stepmother to a 22 year old bright eyed ingenue. People don’t really seem to know where to place me right now, which is both a curse and a blessing. It’s a blessing because since I’m not an obvious type I get to play an array of different kinds of roles. I’m not stuck playing the same thing over and over. It’s a curse because when I audition for something I don’t always know what role to tailor for. If I know the director it helps because then I sort of know what they normally see me as. And of course there are those wonderful directors that take chances on me again and again like Sheldon Patinkin, David Zak, and Elizabeth Margolius. They don’t stick me in a box. They let me play something completely different each time I work with them and THAT my friends, is a blessing.

What does all this have to do with the audition? I’m getting there I promise! I have been between shows so I had a lot of time to think. I thought about the last couple of years. I thought about how I always feel like I need a show whether I’m really interested in the project or not. I thought about how I’m instantly handicapped with many of these musicals I’m auditioning for because I’m not a dancer. I thought about the last time I was truly happy and artistically satisfied during a theatrical production. I thought about what exactly makes me happy about being an actor and what doesn’t. I thought about all these things and decided to make some changes.

The first couple of changes were small. I said no to a project I didn’t feel passionate about. This was really hard for me! I went to non-musical generals for a company instead of their musical generals even though I may have fared better at the musical ones. It was my first non-musical audition in 5 years. I was extremely nervous. I also didn’t audition for a project that I really wanted. That may sound counter-intuitive, but for me it gave me back the power over my career. I decided that it was better for me to make a decision that was really hard for me, than to do the same thing I’ve been doing for years. Rather than get frustrated over circumstances I couldn’t control, I started to prepare to move in a completely new direction. I applied for the School at Steppenwolf.

About a week ago I was notified that I’d been granted an audition and yesterday I had the audition. It was terrifying for me. I had to prepare two monologues and a scene. I didn’t have my voice to hide behind. I was so intimidated that I was sort of paralyzed the first half of the week not knowing where to start or HOW to begin.

I snapped out of it though and did my prep work and worked with my talented roommate a bit. I felt ready when I went, and I have to say it was one of the best auditions of my life. It may have even been the best. I was floating when I left. I almost started crying on the train. I was so proud of myself for conquering my fears and putting myself out of my comfort zone. I don’t know if they thought I did as well as I did, or how I measure up to the other candidates, or if I have a real shot at this or not, and frankly I HONESTLY DON’T CARE. I’ve won. Regardless of what happens I’ve won. All of this has propelled me in a new direction. I don’t know if it’ll lead to Steppenwolf, but I know it will lead somewhere that I wasn’t heading before. I’ve taken another fork in the road, and it was hard, and it makes it all the more sweet.

I just want to say one more thing. Even though I didn’t share it on my blog, I did talk to many of the people that I trust in my life about it. Not one person doubted me. Not one person didn’t think I could do it. On the contrary, my confidants believed in me so strongly that I didn’t have a choice but to believe in myself. I am truly blessed to have these people in my life. Now in true Oscar fashion I’m going to name names until they cut me off with the music:

THANK YOU Sheldon Patinkin, Janet Louer, Scott Olson, David Zak, Eric Martin, Brenda Didier, (music starts playing) HOLD ON! Lili-Anne Brown, Andra-Velis Simon, Jessica Cook, Jennifer Grubb, Danni Smith, Laura McClain, Adam Minegar, Annie Passanisi,(music gets louder) I WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT THANKING MY FAMILY! Mom and Dad, Gabe, Jonathan, Grandpa, and every single person who listened to me talk things out. It’s meant the world to me. (they threaten to cut to commercial) Love YOU! Support live theater! (they pull me off the stage by my hair)

Harmony

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The good, the bad, and the UGLY

February 26th, 2010

There is so much to be thankful for. I am surrounded by people that are so talented that it’s almost unbelievable. On a daily basis I get to be inspired by my peers. This week was no exception. In a two day period I was able to see Private Lives at Chicago Shakespeare, Fiddler on the Roof at the Marriott, and attend a benefit celebration for a company I’ve worked with and have a place in my heart for: Bohemian Theatre Ensemble. This weekend I’m going to see some Tennessee Williams directed by my dear friend David Zak and last week I saw the stunning production of Oh Coward! at Writer’s theatre. Next week I’m going to see the opening of Chess at Theo Ubique, my wonderful friend Danni Smith in Living Quarters for Strangeloop theater, and the lovely Christin Boulette in Pride and Prejudice at the Chamber Opera Chicago. This is not to mention getting to see my roommate in Bailiwick Chicago’s  Show us Your Love every weekend. He’s one talented fellow.

If you didn’t get it, that’s the “good.” The inspiration, support, and strength I get from my friends, family, and peers is invaluable and keeps me going day to day.

We don’t really need to talk about the “bad,” do we? Poor wages, scraping by, rejection, blah blah blah blah blah. I get tired of talking about it. You get it. It’s not as rosy and glamorous as people who are NOT in-the-know would think.

Let’s talk about the “ugly,” shall we? This career can be hard enough as we briefly covered in the bad section. What makes it worse is ugly behavior. There is back stabbing, drama, jealousy, rumor starting, deceit, unhealthy competitiveness, downright vindictiveness, and the worst… bad-mouthing a peer to a fellow professional. It’s the underbelly of the Chicago theater community and it’s frankly gross. I have from one time or another been a victim of all of that behavior and so have most the people I know. It’s just not conducive to anyone.

Now we ALL TALK. That’s a given. And of course we’re going to bitch about each other from time to time to friends and lovers. Everyone in ANY career field does that about their co-workers. I would just like to request that we try to stay positive, that we try to be happy for each other’s successes even if it’s hard sometimes, and that under no circumstances do we attempt to hurt someone else’s career. We already have so many strikes against us just for the mere fact that we want to be actors. Why make it harder for ourselves than it has to be? And if none of that works just think about a little thing called karma. I strongly believe in karma and what goes around comes around. So let’s look out for each other!

I’ll leave you with a quote that was going around FB a couple of days ago:

We live in an era of enormous cynicism. Do not be fooled.

Don’t act for money. You’ll start to feel dead and bitter.

Don’t act for glory. You’ll start to feel dead, fat and fearful.

We live in an era of enormous cynicism. Do not be fooled.

You can’t avoid all the pitfalls. There are lies you must tell. But experience the lie. See it as something dead and unconnected you clutch. And let it go.

Act from the depth of your feeling imagination. Act for celebration, for search, for grieving, for worship, to express that desolate sensation of wandering through the howling wilderness.

Don’t worry about Art.

Do these things and it will be Art.

John Patrick Shanley

AND PLEASE CHECK OUT THESE SHOWS AND SUPPORT LIVE THEATRE!!!!!!!

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Private Lives

Chicago Shakespeare Theater

Following his celebrated production of Amadeus this season, CST’s own Gary Griffin directs Noël Coward’s stylish, savvy comedy about the people we can neither live with—nor without. Divorcés Amanda and Elyot meet up again quite by accident—on their second honeymoons, with brand-new spouses in tow. Fireworks fly as their reunion reveals just how quickly romance—and rivalry—can be rekindled.

Thru - Mar 7, 2010

Fri, Feb 26: 7:30pm
Sat, Feb 27: 3:00pm & 8:00pm
Tue, Mar 2: 7:30pm
Wed, Mar 3: 1:00pm & 7:30pm
Thu, Mar 4: 7:30pm
Sat, Mar 6: 3:00pm & 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 7: 2:00pm

Price:$44-$75

Show Type: Comedy

Box Office: 312-595-5600

www.chicagoshakes.com

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Fiddler on the Roof

Marriott Theatre In Lincolnshire

This Tony Award-winning musical has captured the hearts of people all over the world. It is the bittersweet tale of a family coping with a changing world. Tevye, a Jewish dairyman, and his family live in a small village in 1905 Tsarist Russia. With the help of the local matchmaker, Tevye and his wife are in search of acceptable husbands for their three lively daughters. While their daughters are determined to break tradition and marry the men they love, Tevye begins to face bigger issues as Jews are being persecuted in his homeland. A hopeful celebration of the human spirit, Fiddler on the Roof features an unforgettable score with music by Jerry Bock, lyrics by Sheldon Harnick, and book by Joseph Stein.

Thru - Apr 25, 2010

Wednesdays: 1:00pm & 8:00pm
Thursdays: 8:00pm
Fridays: 8:00pm
Saturdays: 4:30pm & 8:00pm
Sundays: 1:00pm & 5:00pm

Price:$35-$55

Show Type: Musical

Box Office: 847-634-0200

www.marriotttheatre.com
0811213803Not About Nightingales

CCPA at Roosevelt University

First written in 1938,the script remained unproduced until 1998. This early work was written by Tennessee Williams when he was only 27, before any of the great plays that established his later reputation. Based on true events, this play attempts to shine a spotlight on the corruption, degradation and murder that occur in prisons, outside the light of social norms of human decency. In the setting of an “escape proof” prison, acts of torture and brutality replace humanity, in this work that Williams described as filled with unprecedented violence and horror.

By Tennessee Williams
Directed by David Zak

Friday and Saturday Feb. 26 and 27 at 7:30pm
Sunday Feb. 28 at 2pm

$10 General Admission
$6 Students/Seniors/ INDUSTRY

(312) 341-3831

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Oh Coward!

Writers’ Theatre

You’re invited to a marvelous party at Writers’ Theatre! Weaving together songs and literary delights, Oh Coward! celebrates one of the theater’s greatest entertainers, Noel Coward. His effervescent music and charming quips combine for an unforgettable evening of the most memorable tunes of the 20th century.

Thru - Apr 18, 2010

Fri, Feb 26: 8:00pm
Sat, Feb 27: 4:00pm & 8:00pm
Tue, Mar 2: 7:30pm
Wed, Mar 3: 7:30pm
Thu, Mar 4: 8:00pm
Sat, Mar 6: 4:00pm & 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 7: 2:00pm & 6:00pm
Wed, Mar 10: 2:00pm & 7:30pm
Thu, Mar 11: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 12: 8:00pm
Sat, Mar 13: 4:00pm & 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 14: 2:00pm & 6:00pm
Wed, Mar 17: 2:00pm & 7:30pm
Thu, Mar 18: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 19: 8:00pm
Sat, Mar 20: 4:00pm & 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 21: 2:00pm
Tue, Mar 23: 7:30pm
Wed, Mar 24: 7:30pm
Thu, Mar 25: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 26: 8:00pm
Tue, Mar 30: 7:30pm
Wed, Mar 31: 7:30pm
Thu, Apr 1: 8:00pm
Sat, Apr 3: 4:00pm & 8:00pm
Sun, Apr 4: 2:00pm & 6:00pm
Tue, Apr 6: 7:30pm
Wed, Apr 7: 7:30pm
Thu, Apr 8: 8:00pm
Fri, Apr 9: 8:00pm
Tue, Apr 13: 7:30pm
Thu, Apr 15: 8:00pm
Sun, Apr 18: 2:00pm & 6:00pm

Price:$40-$60

Stage: Performed at 664 Vernon Avenue

Show Type: Musical

Box Office: 847-242-6000

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Chess

No Exit Cafe

Chess is a Cold War musical, first premiering in the 1980s, with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by former ABBA members, Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson. Among the notable hit songs from the cult musical are One Night in Bangkok and I Know Him So Well.

Presented by Theo Ubique Cabaret Theatre

Previews: Mar 5 - Mar 6, 2010

Regular Run: Mar 7 - Apr 25, 2010

Sat, Mar 6: 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 7: 7:00pm
Thu, Mar 11: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 12: 8:00pm
Sat, Mar 13: 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 14: 7:00pm
Thu, Mar 18: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 19: 8:00pm
Sat, Mar 20: 8:00pm
Sun, Mar 21: 7:00pm
Thu, Mar 25: 8:00pm
Fri, Mar 26: 8:00pm
Thu, Apr 1: 8:00pm
Sat, Apr 3: 8:00pm
Sun, Apr 4: 7:00pm
Thu, Apr 8: 8:00pm
Fri, Apr 9: 8:00pm
Thu, Apr 15: 8:00pm
Fri, Apr 16: 8:00pm
Sun, Apr 18: 7:00pm
Thu, Apr 22: 8:00pm
Fri, Apr 23: 8:00pm
Sat, Apr 24: 8:00pm
Sun, Apr 25: 7:00pm

Price:$15-$30

Show Type: Musical

Box Office: 800-595-4849

www.theoubique.org

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Living Quarters

Trap Door Theatre

Subtitled After Hippolytus and first produced by Dublin’s Abbey Theatre in 1977, Living Quarters recasts the mythology of Theseus, Hippolytus, and Phaedra into an isolated Donegal homestead.Commandant Frank Butler returns home to Ireland as a hero after saving nine United Nations peacekeepers from enemy fire during a siege in the Middle East. Reunited to celebrate Frank’s triumph are three daughters and a son by his first marriage and the young wife Frank married days before his deployment. But the revelation of secrets kept while Frank was away threatens to divide the Butler house forever.

Presented by Strangeloop Theatre

Thru - Mar 14, 2010

Thursdays: 8:00pm
Fridays: 8:00pm
Saturdays: 8:00pm
Sundays: 2:00pm

Price:$10-$15

Show Type: Drama

Box Office: 773-276-0458

www.strangelooptheatre.org

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Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: A Musical Play

Jane Austen revisits her rejected first novel, First Impressions, and overcomes all obstacles to transform it into the timeless classic, Pride & Prejudice. What writers Lindsay Warren Baker and Amanda Jacobs have accomplished is not just a powerful, musical retelling of a classic love story. They show us, through the journey of the author herself, what it takes to create a masterpiece. See Elizabeth and Darcy’s romance come to life from a whole new perspective and immerse yourself in Austen’s creative process as she interacts with the very characters she has created.

By Lindsay Warren Baker and Amanda Jacobs
Directed by Steven Daigle
Orchestra conducted by Victoria Bond

Saturday, February 27, 2010, 7:30pm
Saturday, March 6, 7:30pm
Sunday, March 7, 3:00pm (with Christin Boulette Dorton)

Chamber Opera Chicago Office/Studio

Tel: 312-951-7944
FAX: 312-951-7948

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Show Us Your Love

Mary’s Attic

Show Us Your Love celebrates love and relationships, featuring both comic and dramatic selections from some of Broadway and Off-Broadway’s very best, including HAIR, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE, PIPPIN, FLOYD COLLINS and BROOKLYN THE MUSICAL. Audience members will have an opportunity to “show us their love” by informally voting for their favorite shows, which will influence Bailiwick Chicago’s show selection process for future seasons.

Presented by Bailiwick Chicago

Thru - Mar 28, 2010

Sundays: 7:30pm

Price:$15

Show Type: Musical

www.bailiwickchicago.com

Dancers

February 24th, 2010

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When I was five years old I was in ballet. My favorite book, which I still have in tatters and bound with brown tape, was Little Ballerina. I had a collection of tutus which I modeled shamelessly. Well, for whatever reason, I stopped. I think I asked to stop or maybe my parents couldn’t afford it anymore. For whatever reason…I stopped.

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Skip to high school. One of my closest friends, Tori, was a ballerina. I went to a couple of her recitals and ballets. I was so inspired by it. I signed up to start taking lessons again. I never made it to the first one. I couldn’t afford it and I lived about a 45 minute drive away. I was 15 at the time and couldn’t drive yet.

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Skip to college…well my third college (long story). I was a musical theatre major at Columbia College. I had to take ballet and jazz. I had to go shopping for a leotard as a grown woman which was a little frightening. I got through it though and I really LOVED barre work. It’s just you and the barre working on technique together. What I did not love was when I had to go “across the floor.” Those words make me shudder. Basically that means everyone takes turns going from one side of the room to the other doing some sort of combination of dance steps while everyone else watches. Horror. That’s the stuff of nightmares I tell you.

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I used to DREAD class because I knew that after my beloved barre work that I’d be required to “go across the floor.” I remember one day I was crossing Roosevelt Avenue downtown to get to class. If you’ve never been to downtown Chicago, you’ve missed out on the lovely wind tunnels that the sky scrapers create on certain streets. Roosevelt is a REALLY wide street, and when the wind is really going it can be really difficult to cross. You really have to bare down and make yourself as grounded as possible. One day it was so windy that my feet were barely staying on the ground. A bunch of ballerinas that were walking with me GRABBED ON TO ME. Their fight or flight reaction was to grab the STURDY one. “Her stocky legs will keep us from blowing into Lake Michigan!” I’m not sure why I just shared that story. I suppose I am still incredibly bitter about it. :-P How dare they!?!?!?!?!? :P

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Jazz class was almost all floor work. I would feel myself hyperventilating and breaking out into hives while crossing the dreaded Roosevelt wind tunnel to get to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then as soon as class was over I started dreading the next one. I wasn’t even the worst person in the class or anything like that. I just had a phobia of people watching me GO ACROSS THE FLOOR. ACK! Anything but that!  Needless to say I became an acting major after the first year. I’d love to say that it’s due to me wanting to focus more on my acting. And to be fair, that was the majority of it. BUT I’d be completely full of it if I didn’t admit that part of it was my floor work phobia.

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If I have these kind of issues in dance class, you can imagine how I feel about DANCE CALLS.  hahaha Okay, honestly my phobia is way less debilitating than it used to be. I can make it through a dance call and not need a xanax instantly. I have also been in dozens of shows at this point that I’ve had to do some sort of choreography in. I’m not completely hopeless, but I know that I will never be a real dancer. I can fake it till I make it, but that’s about it.

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I have so much respect for dancers. It’s hard to even put it into words. I think it’s so beautiful to tell a story completely through your body. It’s amazing and I’m always in awe of it.

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The Aida dance call (which I was FACILITATING not dancing in) was REAL. The choreographers, Kevin Iega Jeff and Gary Abbott, are the Artistic Director and Associate Artistic Director respectively from the Deeply Rooted Dance Theater. The dance they put together for the dance call was so beautiful and passionate. There were moments of yearning, moments of anger, and moments of grace all worked into this 32 bar cut that they choreographed. I don’t know how Aida is all going to come together yet, but I can say completely confidently that the dance portion of it is going to be PHENOMENAL. I seriously can’t wait to see what they do with it. I continue to be inspired.

My secret weapon

February 23rd, 2010

Ahhhh the joys of having a graphic/web designer as a roommate/best friend. Not only did Eric design my website and this blog, but he also does all of my photo retouching. Normally this just means getting rid of bags under the eyes, but as you’ll see he went above and beyond his duty of friendship!

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So this was the original shot that I picked to be my headshot. It’s not that bad. The pros: I liked the mischievous look in my eyes. It’s very Harmony. I like that the angle tamed the angularity of my nose a bit. AND let’s face it, the girls look good. The cons: I was strapped for cash so the retouch of my hair color didn’t happen before the shots. I’d like to point out that the discoloration did not look THIS bad in person, but when you put very bright lights on me and put a white background behind me this is what you get. I had also walked through a rainstorm to get there and try as I might I could not get the curl to stay or the frizz to leave. There was also the typical things to retouch…such as bags under eyes, my bra poking through, and horror of horrors…some deodorant residue on my dress!

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This was the first attempt. I had decided that I was going to dye my hair to match the bright red at the ends of my hair, so Eric matched my roots to the bottom part of my hair and my eyebrows to match. He changed the contrast of the photo so that I wasn’t quite so washed out. I told him to leave my crow’s feet alone. And he did. You can’t really tell online, but if you saw the photo you would see the lines. I like them. They add character. I DO NOT, however, like wrinkles UNDER my eyes. So I had him zap them. He also fixed the bra problem, the deodorant incident, he whitened the whites of my eyes, and in an effort of pure disclosure: he slimmed the bottom of my arm a tiny bit.

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So I used the red one for a while. I felt a little silly, like I was trying to look like Jessica Rabbit or something. Instead of  going for the bright red I decided to try for an auburn or brownish red. I dyed it the night before I had a double audition day. I could tell that it was darker than I had anticipated, but it wasn’t until I woke up the next day that I saw how freaking dark it was! This picture is NOT an exaggeration. So I knew I couldn’t show up at auditions with brassy red headshots and dark brown hair. That’s a major NO NO. Eric to the rescue. In about 10 minutes he changed the color of my hair in the headshot to match. With the dark brown hair it looked a little silly with a white background, so we settled on this heather gray instead. I got so many compliments on my headshot that day! Little did they know….well I guess they know now…that Eric had just done some last minute computer wizardry right before I had to walk out the door to get to the auditions. Oh and on a side note…I booked one of the shows from those auditions! :-)

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After the color faded a bit it looked more like this and still does. So Eric changed the color again. This is the shot that works for me right now. Of course since I’ve been using it for a while, I’m ready for a change, but that’s just my nature. I get bored. Maybe I’ll return to this:

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Sigh….I miss being a blonde.

Okay so I sincerely apologize for posting 8000 pictures of myself. It’s obnoxious. There is a point to it. I wanted to show the skills of my roommate and I also kind of wanted to take away some of the mystery around it. The blonde picture I don’t have an excuse for. I like it. It makes me feel pretty. SO THERE! But seriously, we are constantly barraged with photos of perfect celebrities. Guess what? They’re not perfect. I mean I guess there are people that are more perfect than others, but most of them need a lot of help with make-up, hair, and yes a retoucher. If the above photos can be the same girl as this girl…..(seen with Eric):

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…then seriously anyone can be made to look good with the right team.

That is my lesson for the day.

I won’t post another photo of myself until 2011. I promise.

Harmony