Archive for the ‘Embarrassing stories’ Category

Reviews, Reviewers, and the like…

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Reviewers/critics/what have you, can make or break your show. We are told repeatedly not to care what the reviews say, but the fact of the matter is it puts butts in the seats if the show is reviewed well. For anyone who has worn a producing hat from time to time, you understand how important it is. Smaller theater companies, particularly Non-Equity ones, rely on good reviews because of their lack of an advertising budget. Because of this, when we know reviewers are coming everyone goes a little batty. Houses are papered (tickets are given away), audiences are filled with friendly faces that will enjoy the show in an obvious way. Each director/producer has a different way of handling whether the actors know about the reviewers or not. In some companies they drill it into your head so that you know WHAT’S AT STAKE! In other companies it’s kept as top secret information lest the actors find out and it influences the show.

I’ve seen actors and other theater professionals take to their bed for a week after a bad review or, heaven forbid, a bout of bad reviews. I’ve seen people’s performances fall apart due to the onset of insecurity that comes from a bad notice. I’ve seen actors CHANGE their performance to match what a reviewer says. It’s all very silly, but in a business that can be thankless, good reviews and accolades are a nice boost to keep us going. Bad reviews have an adverse effect.

I used to get extremely wrapped up in all of this. Good reviews made me feel like I was on top of the world and bad reviews made me feel like a huge pile of crap. This continued until I did Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Tell me on a Sunday. It’s a one-woman musical and I got more reviews than I ever had before because I was the only actor on stage. There was no getting around it. We probably got about 13 reviews for the show from opening through the extension. My day would be good, or bad, depending on what had been written about me that day.

On one night I received 4 reviews with 4 completely different perspectives. One thought I pretty much sucked all around. One thought I was fabulous and the hottest ticket in town. One said that I was a weak actor, but had a great voice and one said that I was a weak singer, but a great actor.

After receiving all of these highly conflicting reviews I did something I hadn’t thought to do yet. I laughed it off. I realized how ridiculous I was being to believe everything that was being written about me whether good or bad. Clearly they couldn’t ALL be right! Their opinions didn’t match up at all, and that’s what they are…OPINIONS. It is one individual giving an opinion. That’s it. Not just that, but we don’t know what goes into that opinion. Anything from the reviewers health, mood that day, dinner before the show, comfort of their seat, what the weather is, whether they have pre-conceived notions, whether they like the playwright/composer/ etc. etc. etc. into infinity effects both good and bad reviews.

Also, they are seeing ONE performance. They don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. They don’t know when you’re sick, lost a loved one, are having an off night, broke up with your boyfriend, etc. etc. etc. into infinity. They don’t know for instance that an actress’ pants went missing right before the show and she had to wear something that was supposed to be a long shirt as a dress and bend down and pick things up and try not to flash the audience her hoo-hah in the process. The reviewer didn’t know all of that before writing that the actress seemed “self conscious about her body.” I don’t know WHO this actress is by the way. It’s not me!!!! Pretend I didn’t tell this story. I made it all up. Moving on…

I’m not trying to diminish the importance of reviewers in this business at all. There are certain reviewers in this city that are brilliant and who I really trust. I’ve also been in many a show that the reviewers were our best friends. They saved our show. They made people come see it. It can be a wonderful thing! My POINT is (thank goodness, right?) let the producers worry about the reviews. As actors our only responsibility is to be true to the text, take care of our bodies, and to follow our direction. That’s it! The other stuff is out of our control. If this means that you have to not read the reviews to keep from getting upset than DON’T! I know many actors that don’t. If you do choose to read them just remember it’s just normal people with opinions. Don’t let it define you!

That is my wisdom for the day…

Harmony

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.”  -Anton Ego (Ratatouille!)

Dancers

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

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When I was five years old I was in ballet. My favorite book, which I still have in tatters and bound with brown tape, was Little Ballerina. I had a collection of tutus which I modeled shamelessly. Well, for whatever reason, I stopped. I think I asked to stop or maybe my parents couldn’t afford it anymore. For whatever reason…I stopped.

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Skip to high school. One of my closest friends, Tori, was a ballerina. I went to a couple of her recitals and ballets. I was so inspired by it. I signed up to start taking lessons again. I never made it to the first one. I couldn’t afford it and I lived about a 45 minute drive away. I was 15 at the time and couldn’t drive yet.

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Skip to college…well my third college (long story). I was a musical theatre major at Columbia College. I had to take ballet and jazz. I had to go shopping for a leotard as a grown woman which was a little frightening. I got through it though and I really LOVED barre work. It’s just you and the barre working on technique together. What I did not love was when I had to go “across the floor.” Those words make me shudder. Basically that means everyone takes turns going from one side of the room to the other doing some sort of combination of dance steps while everyone else watches. Horror. That’s the stuff of nightmares I tell you.

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I used to DREAD class because I knew that after my beloved barre work that I’d be required to “go across the floor.” I remember one day I was crossing Roosevelt Avenue downtown to get to class. If you’ve never been to downtown Chicago, you’ve missed out on the lovely wind tunnels that the sky scrapers create on certain streets. Roosevelt is a REALLY wide street, and when the wind is really going it can be really difficult to cross. You really have to bare down and make yourself as grounded as possible. One day it was so windy that my feet were barely staying on the ground. A bunch of ballerinas that were walking with me GRABBED ON TO ME. Their fight or flight reaction was to grab the STURDY one. “Her stocky legs will keep us from blowing into Lake Michigan!” I’m not sure why I just shared that story. I suppose I am still incredibly bitter about it. :-P How dare they!?!?!?!?!? :P

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Jazz class was almost all floor work. I would feel myself hyperventilating and breaking out into hives while crossing the dreaded Roosevelt wind tunnel to get to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then as soon as class was over I started dreading the next one. I wasn’t even the worst person in the class or anything like that. I just had a phobia of people watching me GO ACROSS THE FLOOR. ACK! Anything but that!  Needless to say I became an acting major after the first year. I’d love to say that it’s due to me wanting to focus more on my acting. And to be fair, that was the majority of it. BUT I’d be completely full of it if I didn’t admit that part of it was my floor work phobia.

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If I have these kind of issues in dance class, you can imagine how I feel about DANCE CALLS.  hahaha Okay, honestly my phobia is way less debilitating than it used to be. I can make it through a dance call and not need a xanax instantly. I have also been in dozens of shows at this point that I’ve had to do some sort of choreography in. I’m not completely hopeless, but I know that I will never be a real dancer. I can fake it till I make it, but that’s about it.

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I have so much respect for dancers. It’s hard to even put it into words. I think it’s so beautiful to tell a story completely through your body. It’s amazing and I’m always in awe of it.

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The Aida dance call (which I was FACILITATING not dancing in) was REAL. The choreographers, Kevin Iega Jeff and Gary Abbott, are the Artistic Director and Associate Artistic Director respectively from the Deeply Rooted Dance Theater. The dance they put together for the dance call was so beautiful and passionate. There were moments of yearning, moments of anger, and moments of grace all worked into this 32 bar cut that they choreographed. I don’t know how Aida is all going to come together yet, but I can say completely confidently that the dance portion of it is going to be PHENOMENAL. I seriously can’t wait to see what they do with it. I continue to be inspired.

My secret weapon

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Ahhhh the joys of having a graphic/web designer as a roommate/best friend. Not only did Eric design my website and this blog, but he also does all of my photo retouching. Normally this just means getting rid of bags under the eyes, but as you’ll see he went above and beyond his duty of friendship!

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So this was the original shot that I picked to be my headshot. It’s not that bad. The pros: I liked the mischievous look in my eyes. It’s very Harmony. I like that the angle tamed the angularity of my nose a bit. AND let’s face it, the girls look good. The cons: I was strapped for cash so the retouch of my hair color didn’t happen before the shots. I’d like to point out that the discoloration did not look THIS bad in person, but when you put very bright lights on me and put a white background behind me this is what you get. I had also walked through a rainstorm to get there and try as I might I could not get the curl to stay or the frizz to leave. There was also the typical things to retouch…such as bags under eyes, my bra poking through, and horror of horrors…some deodorant residue on my dress!

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This was the first attempt. I had decided that I was going to dye my hair to match the bright red at the ends of my hair, so Eric matched my roots to the bottom part of my hair and my eyebrows to match. He changed the contrast of the photo so that I wasn’t quite so washed out. I told him to leave my crow’s feet alone. And he did. You can’t really tell online, but if you saw the photo you would see the lines. I like them. They add character. I DO NOT, however, like wrinkles UNDER my eyes. So I had him zap them. He also fixed the bra problem, the deodorant incident, he whitened the whites of my eyes, and in an effort of pure disclosure: he slimmed the bottom of my arm a tiny bit.

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So I used the red one for a while. I felt a little silly, like I was trying to look like Jessica Rabbit or something. Instead of  going for the bright red I decided to try for an auburn or brownish red. I dyed it the night before I had a double audition day. I could tell that it was darker than I had anticipated, but it wasn’t until I woke up the next day that I saw how freaking dark it was! This picture is NOT an exaggeration. So I knew I couldn’t show up at auditions with brassy red headshots and dark brown hair. That’s a major NO NO. Eric to the rescue. In about 10 minutes he changed the color of my hair in the headshot to match. With the dark brown hair it looked a little silly with a white background, so we settled on this heather gray instead. I got so many compliments on my headshot that day! Little did they know….well I guess they know now…that Eric had just done some last minute computer wizardry right before I had to walk out the door to get to the auditions. Oh and on a side note…I booked one of the shows from those auditions! :-)

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After the color faded a bit it looked more like this and still does. So Eric changed the color again. This is the shot that works for me right now. Of course since I’ve been using it for a while, I’m ready for a change, but that’s just my nature. I get bored. Maybe I’ll return to this:

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Sigh….I miss being a blonde.

Okay so I sincerely apologize for posting 8000 pictures of myself. It’s obnoxious. There is a point to it. I wanted to show the skills of my roommate and I also kind of wanted to take away some of the mystery around it. The blonde picture I don’t have an excuse for. I like it. It makes me feel pretty. SO THERE! But seriously, we are constantly barraged with photos of perfect celebrities. Guess what? They’re not perfect. I mean I guess there are people that are more perfect than others, but most of them need a lot of help with make-up, hair, and yes a retoucher. If the above photos can be the same girl as this girl…..(seen with Eric):

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…then seriously anyone can be made to look good with the right team.

That is my lesson for the day.

I won’t post another photo of myself until 2011. I promise.

Harmony