So I wrote a whole blog HERE about how time off can be depressing for an actor. There’s the fear of never working again and what not. blah blah blah. What I didn’t write about in that blog is about how glorious it can be. I’ve had a social life! I’ve had nights in. I’ve been able to watch tv when the programs are actually on! I’ve been able to cook and have friends over on weeknights. I reconnected with people I haven’t seen in years because I had the time to do it! I did tons of thinking. I was able to spend more time on my auditions and I booked my summer because of it. I got to spend time with my roommate. A lot of time LOL. When we’re both working on shows, we don’t see much of each other. I didn’t have to plan my week to the nth degree. I was able to be a little spontaneous. I got to be lazy. I got to be productive. I got to be creative. I got to relax. I was able to help out with Bailiwick Chicago behind the scenes because I actually had the TIME.
I think, as many of us do, that I replace my personal life with my professional life sometimes. Or that they become the same thing. When you’re doing well in your career you’re able to hide behind it and fill gaps in your life with your successes. When suddenly you don’t have a gig, or you’re waiting for your next one, you have to deal with your real life. You have to deal with the areas of your life that seem lacking. It can be hard, but it’s also a time of growth and self awareness. I didn’t have “the stage” to distract me with its glamour and its heartache. It’s so important for us as artists to have lives separate from our stage personas. Otherwise what are we bringing to our art?
I’ve said before that an actor’s ability is limited to the extent of their experience and their imagination. The more experience you have the more you have to draw from. We should be as daring and fearless in life as we are on stage. That is my goal. That is what I strive for. I want to live this life so absolutely that it can’t help but seep into my work in the theater. I don’t want to pass up any opportunities. No more being afraid. No more missed connections. They make me sad. Take a chance on people! Don’t be afraid to love. Be brave my friends! Be brave and be fabulous!
I’ve overindulged a bit this last three months, but it felt wonderful. I felt really alive and I feel like I have something new to bring to the table now. I start rehearsals for Oh Boy! tomorrow and then I’m booked everyday through the summer with a list of things that keeps growing. I’m extremely excited to have so much coming up, but I’m also a little sad that my break is over. It has truly been life-changing. When I am insanely busy again, I need to remember not to neglect the Harmony that isn’t on stage all the time. She deserves some attention too. I will neglect her no longer!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
After reading this through I’ve realized that I sound like a combination of a hippie and a psycho. I do apologize. Some things just must be said, even if they’re a little scatter-brained.
Thank you for sticking with me through my insanity. HAPPY SPRING!!!!!
Harmony
*****
A TALE OF TWO CITIES by Charles Dickens