One of the more tedious things an actor must go through in super-stardom is public appearances and show promotions. I had one such commitment a couple weekends ago.
Where are my handlers to fan me with Palm Fronds and feed me grapes?
What!?!?!
There are no handlers for this event! Do you KNOW WHO I AM!??!
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“Can we smoke? Can the adults please smoke?!?”
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We’re always asked the same questions at these events:
1)”What do you do to get into character?” I meditate for 3 hours in the downward dog position and do a shot of wheatgrass juice.
2)”How is your show relevant in today’s political atmosphere?” Our show is about love. Love is love man. No one should tell anyone else who to love man. Make love not war. Love is love.
And at this particular event there was a third request repeated over and over.
3)”Show us your boobs!” Excuse me? How dare you!!??!?! I’m an artist not some hussy!!
ummmmm…..I categorically deny this photograph. It never happened. I’m being framed I tell you! You’ll have to speak to my publicist about this one. His name is Eric Martin and his number is 773-555-1212.
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P.S. I do apologize for this post. I’m in tech(hell) week and I’ve lost what’s left of my feeble mind. Do forgive me.
Love Harmonique Francious
P.S.S If you think this post is crazy, come see me in my show opening on Sunday. You’ll see me be a real lunatic, and wear a fatsuit, and there’s girl on girl action, and male nudity. What more do you need really?
