Let’s talk about the elephant in the middle of the room shall we? Appearance is important in this lovely, lovely business of ours. That lovely business called show business. Lovely. It’s extremely important. We’re essentially marketing and selling ourselves. I would say appearance is at least 50% of it….hmmmm…maybe 75%.

This tomboy/Navy girl/emancipated, strong “hear me roar” female type has not always been focused on the physical. These glamorous shots of me and dressing myself up are fairly new to me. I’d say the last 5 years or so. Nancy Kolton bought me my first grown up curling iron…I think I had one in my teens…5 years ago for Christmas in a Secret Santa raffle.

Being in my thirties, yes I did indeed just give away my age, has made me more confident, sexier, and almost more girly. Strangest thing ever. I own a PINK dress. Shocking. Truly Shocking. 7 years ago I was stationed in West Virginia. I wore camoflauge OFTEN and competed in drinking contests with all the sailor boys.  It was a completely different world.

I remember when I got out of the military being completely ecstatic that I would never again have to pass a weigh in or have to run the mile and a half in a certain amount of time. It was a relief. A short-lived relief.

What I quickly discovered is that I still have to take that weigh in. The only difference is that I don’t have any hunky yet slightly mean guys yelling at me now to work out. I have to do it completely on my own. I have to try to compete in this INSANITY. And this is Chicago. Goodness…I can’t even imagine being in L.A. I think I’d be considered morbidly obese in L.A. Body images and expectations  in that place are ridiculous.

So what is the point of all this? Is there a point to all this? I’m not even sure myself anymore. I guess the point is that I still have 10 pounds (preferably 15) to lose before September. Before my next show. I know I can do it, that’s not the issue, it’s just irritating. I’m so tired of the struggle. Two summers ago I was at a record low weight for me and then I gained it all back.

That’s what happens when you understudy in Munster, IN and eat anything that is put in front of you. I lost ALL sense of control as soon as I was introduced to the Munster doughnut. Oh dearie dearie me. DELICIOUS. That and Fro Yo…or frozen yogurt. Anyway, I gained 10 pounds and then I gained 10 more, and then I lost 10, and then I gained 5, and then I lost 5 blah blah blah. That’s the whole point of this damn blog. Aren’t you glad you read this far just to learn that?

I’ll lose it again. I know I will. I always do. It just makes me mad. I’ve struggled with my weight since I was 16. Sometimes I get frustrated. My roommate could eat nothing but lard and mountain dew for a year and not gain a pound. I look at a cupcake and I gain a pound. It’s frustrating, especially in this business.

Anyway, for those that actually made it to the end of this blog, I apologize. Thank you very much for letting me vent. I’m going to make these 10 pounds my bitch. (That’s my prison talk)

Peace and Love!

Harmony

“TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, SOME SAY YES AND SOME SAY NO. I’M ONLY LEARNING TO SAY YES. I’M BOUND TO MAKE MISTAKES, BUT I’M BOUND TO TRY. I KNOW YOU THINK I’M NO GREAT SHAKES, BUT THERE’S MORE TO ME THAN MEETS THE EYE.”

I’m starting a new series called Role Inspiration. My preparation and artistic process for a role differs from show to show, but one of the things I almost always do is collect images that inspire me for the piece. These are the images I’ve collected so far for Katie King, the British Mod reporter, who I’m playing in the upcoming production of TROGG! A Musical!