Posts Tagged ‘Panic’

Ebb and Flow: Classic Actor Panic

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

We’re actors. We LOVE to complain. We complain about our rent, being poor, our significant others, our lack of significant others, etc. When we’re employed in a show we complain about the pay, the venue, the actors, stage manager, sometimes the director, etc. We beat ourselves up over reviews. We think it’s simply not fair that “so-and-so” got “whatever part.” Yup we LOVE to complain about our profession. It’s one of our favorite things to do. The only time we complain louder is…well…when we AREN’T employed.

You see actors have this universal fear of never working again. It’s irrational. It doesn’t make any sense, but even movie stars have this worry. If you don’t believe me..observe:

Newsweek interview from 2005 with likely Oscar contenders:

You’re all successful actors. Do you still have that fear, after each job, that you’ll never work again?
ANNETTE BENING: Yes.
KATE WINSLET: I feel like that all the time.
PAUL GIAMATTI: I do, too.
KATE WINSLET: Leo doesn’t. [Laughter]
HILLARY SWANK: I was just working with Clint Eastwood. He’s 74, and he says he never knows if each job is going to be his last.
ANNETTE BENING: When I was starting out, I thought there must be a point at which that goes away—that successful people didn’t have insecurities or demons. What you realize is that, if anything, it gets worse.
PAUL GIAMATTI: Every job feels like the first job. I’m always fumbling through it, trying to figure it out and going, “I’m going to get fired. I’m going to get fired.”

So what is this fear? This “I’m never going to work again” fear? This “I suck” fear. This “clearly the last director made a mistake…I don’t really have any talent” fear. Is it just good old-fashioned FEAR OF FAILURE dressed up in prettier clothes? Do actors suffer from this to a greater degree than NORMAL people, or are we just more dramatic about it? OR BOTH?!! 

I don’t know the answer to any of this. I suffer from all of these fears all the time. Of course there are times when you are on top of the world…when you get a great review…land an amazing part…have a transcendental experience on stage. They are the highest of highs, but they’re dangerous. They add pressure. They add expectations.

The thing to remember is the ebb and flow. You are not always going to be on top. Treasure the moments you are, but don’t get wrapped up in it. Treasure the moments that you’re NOT on top too. They ground you. You learn just as much if not more. You WILL work again. Don’t give up on yourself! You are good! I’ll let Kate Winslet…my favorite actress on the planet take it from here….

Does the fear of failure ever go away?
KATE WINSLET: Fear is a great thing for an actor, because you have to confront it, you know. There’s always the feeling of “I can’t do this. They’ve got the wrong person.” This job is so exciting, and most of it is terrifying, but the day I say “That’s it, I know how to act” is the day it ceases to be interesting.

P.S. This post is ABSOLUTELY for a couple of my friends that are down on themselves right now. I love you and you’re INSANELY talented so snap out of it!

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Questions and Answers: Motivation

Monday, March 30th, 2009

ladeemahongany asks:

How do you remain motivated to do what you do as a career?

Hooboy. That’s a hard one. First of all let me tell you that I’m not that high up on the totem pole. I’ve only been out of school for 3 years. I’ve been extremely lucky to get consistent work since then, but I am by no means a theater star or anything. I’m sure that people more and less successful would have different answers to this question. But, if you want this particular starving actor’s point of view, then here it is.

The real answer is I don’t always remain motivated. Sometimes I am extremely driven and on the ball and sometimes I’m not. Sometimes it feels like I’m going through the motions and I question what it is that I am doing and if it’s worth it. I think about all the alternate lives I could’ve had by now: Interior designer, successful Lawyer, FBI agent, homemaker, etc. I panic that my biological clock is ticking away. I could have a ten year-old by now for pete’s sake. I dream about living in the country with gobs of children, where I could home school them and pickle my own vegetables. (I’m obsessed with pickling my own vegetables.)

I panic that I’m not good enough. I rue the day that I dropped dance lessons when I was eight. I regret losing 6 years to the Navy that I could’ve used to hone my craft. I beat myself up and think if only I lost 20 pounds everything would be perfect. I mourn the parts that I came so So SOOO close to getting, but didn’t. I swallow my pride again and again. I attempt to not have a panic attack after every single audition and a complete breakdown after a dance call. LOL

This panic usually lasts about a week, and it usually happens two or three times a year. But, after that week I wake up to the sun shining and I get over myself. I remember why I’m here, why I’ve chosen this. I remember the thrill of discovering the key to a character. I remember that pure energy, that is unlike any other high, that you get when you walk on stage. I remember how much I love sharing that experience with an audience and how important they are. I remember how much I LOVE to create and collaborate. I remember all these things and I GET OVER MYSELF. The truth is in this crazy business the only reason to keep going, the only reason to stay motivated, is because you LOVE it.

One more thing: have a good support system (friends, family)

And the most important thing of all: REMEMBER TO LAUGH! Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Remember that everyone has their own path. Don’t get obsessed with comparing yourself with your peers and don’t set any ridiculous time limits for success….just (As my lovely and talented friend Aaron Holland likes to say) FOLLOW YOUR BLISS.

CLICK HERE:

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If you want me to sing about it for ya! (Be gentle. I was losing my voice and I forgot the words! HA!) :-P

 

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Feel free to email me and ask me any questions that you may have!